Telling Him
by He's No Angel
Summary: 1shot. Kinda AU. Connor's having a hard time telling Angel those three little words. FatherSon fik!


**(DISCLAIMERS):**_** Dont own them. I only luv them. Well...Connor. I only luv Connor. Angel-Daddy is a close 2nd tho. **_

**(A/N):**_** Another 1-shot. Connor's POV, obviously. This kinda goes with Wherever You Go, but you dont need that fik to understand this. Just know that in this timeline, the BIG BATTLE is over, Angel, Spike, Illyria, and Gunn all won, and Connor's 17 and stays with Angel at the Hyperion at night. Lyrics are from Depeche Mode- I Want It All.**_

WARNING: _**MUSH! HEAVY MUSH! ANGST! WEIRDNESS! AND MORE MUSH!**_

**Title:****TELLING HIM**

_**XXXXWEAKXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

God, I loved him holding me.

How he did it. The way he did it. I loved his arms around me.

Holtz never held me like this. He couldnt and I didnt ask, not even when I was laying, crying, inside our hut in Quor-toth, bleeding and throbbing from all the wounds that covered my body but ignoring them as my eyes begged and pleaded for touch, for comfort. But I never asked for it. Never outloud. And I never received it. He never gave it.

Not like the man I was clutching so fiercely now.

Desperately. Eagerly.

My hands clasped around his cold body as we stood there in the dark alley, and heart started to pound faster and harder as he hugged back just as strong, maybe even stronger.

He was my father, after all. My true father. My protector.

Angel.

"Why, Connor? Why?" He whispered harshly from above me, and I clung to him and started to shake again, causing him to drop to the ground in a sitting position against a wall, the floor of the dirty alley being the resting place now of his expensive clothes as he brought me nearer to his chest, my smaller and thinner form now more comfortable in his lap and head on his shoulder while my face turned into his neck, snuggling closer. I never thought it even possible for me to be like this and so...relaxed.

But he could always do that to me.

Make me feel things that others couldnt do. Didnt want to.

He was holding me.

That was all I ever wanted.

"Why didnt you wait for me? Why did you go out by yourself? I-I couldve...lost you..." I could feel his belly tightening and front heaving as his thoughts wandered with his words, horrified, so I grasped him solidly, my arms still circled around him, and willed my body to fit more with his, leaning into him and against him, silently telling him with that language that I was ok, that I was there with him, not hurt, alive, even letting out a little breath of air, a sigh, against his undead skin to let him know what he was feeling was all true.

This was real.

And his reply was gripping me more securely, a large hand cupping the back of my head, lips pressed into my hair and kissing me with such fervor, it was impossible not to answer him and his yearning of understanding shown clearly in his eyes.

"I wanted to go for a walk," I said, keeping my voice low and quiet. That was all I planned to do, that was all I had intended. I didnt want to make him worry, but the vampires came out of nowhere.

I didnt fight anymore so I couldnt go out with my father and his friends to kill evil demons and monsters.

Not yet. I just wasnt ready to.

I wanted so badly to get back into the swing of things again. This was my life. Being with my real father. Being with Angel. But fighting, feeling the bloodlust when seeing creatures that had been drilled into my mind to kill since I could walk, hearing their screams as they died by my hands...All of it reminded me of before.

Before, when I was wrong and sinful and guilty of so many things.

Before, when I had been tortured by a man I thought of as a saint as well as a father.

Before, when I had HATED Angel.

I couldnt face all that.

Not yet.

And I couldnt just wait around for him to come back, not even knowing when that would be. I was too anxious. And too nervous. I planned on telling him something that night, something we both knew but I had never said outloud, something he always said every day and night, even when I wasnt right in front of him. I had to tell him, though. I didnt know where this sudden feeling came from. I was always satisfied before with the way I showed it- by smiling at him as he told me a corny joke, grinning with him as we both poked fun at Spike, laughing at him as he tickled me to wake up, and hugging him before I was taken back to the Reillys, but now something just didnt seem right with all that. It wasnt enough. My father HAD to know, not that he didnt already. I knew he knew but...

He had to be told it.

There was an obvious difference between showing and telling. Showing was good, was alright before, but telling was better, was needed now.

So I had gone for a walk to try and figure out how I was going to bring it all up.

But it looks like now I was shown the way.

Not told, though.

Yeah, telling was definitely better.

"A walk?" He asked in disbelief. "They couldve hurt you, or...or worse. This part of the city is too dangerous to be by yourself in, especially at night. You should know that by now."

I did. Of course I did. I knew how dangerous it was, but I also knew something else, though I didnt understand why I almost took guilty precariousness, amusement even, out of it. A small pleasure from knowing no matter what I did, I was safe and protected by him.

But I knew.

I knew he would save me. Just like he did.

Damn, I sounded weak. Looked weak.

Looked weak curled up in my father's arms.

I never liked to be protected before. The thought of it made me feel so small and dependent, I had wanted to throw up. I didnt need it and I didnt want it. I wasnt a child.

So why was now so different?

Why was it?

Why was I nestling more into him? Why was I futilely trying to wrap his duster coat all around me? Why was I practically whimpering and begging to be closer? That it wasnt close enough?

Why was I ENJOYING how he held me so preciously, like a cherished treasure that could be broken at any moment?

If I couldnt make sense of all the thinking and emotions running rampant in my head, how the hell was I going to tell him what he needed to hear?

What we both needed to hear?

I was suddenly ripped from my thoughts, though, as he gripped me gently and moved me more into a cradling position while shrugging off his long jacket to throw it over me. "Are you cold?"

I shook my head, feeling sheepish. No, not really. Not cold. Content. Angel's scent was all around me, not that it wasnt before. Thats how the vampires had known who I was as they got closer.

And I had grinned, knowing they knew, when they became instantly afraid.

A chilled hand was placed on my cheek, caressing it tenderly, delicately, and I looked up into his worried eyes, seeing all the affection and love that I wish I could put into words, that he put into three simple ones almost every second of my life. Why the hell couldnt I say them back? They were choking me up inside, wanting to be released. What was holding them in my throat?

I stayed silent as my vampire father continued to look down at me. "I love you Connor. Please dont do this to me again," he whispered as if he was truly in some kind of unbearable pain. "God, I worry about you so much."

I knew he did. And I knew I couldnt stop him from doing that.

His words had my mind wandering back to a few nights ago as I rested my head more under his chin, remembering the events after my dad had bid me a cheery goodnight before leaving my room for his own.

There were voices downstairs and I had freely listened in, not at all tired.

"Poof be movial-jovial, he is." Spike, obviously. "Bloody bastard's whistling up there."

"Of course. Big guy and Connor in the same place equals happy times for him," Gunn replied.

"Happy...You know, I always wondered 'bout that. With the shiny, Nancy Boy soul of his, 'thought "happiness" was out for him. You know, downfall for us all and the like?"

"Lets just say this isnt a complete happiness for him. One he prefers, but it isnt a true peace of mind," Lorne put in.

"Youre tellin' me whistling isnt happy?" Spike sounded shocked.

"No, Angelhair is experiencing pure joy, not happiness. Happiness isnt worrying."

"Worrying? 'Bout what? What's he got to worry about?"

"About his kid," Gunn answered quicker than the empath. "About Junior being taken away from him, about him being alone somewhere, about him jumped by some ugly vamps or crazy cults, about how he's treated at his other home, basically about the midget in general. Ive heard it all. Angel even freaks when he hears Con's at the library surrounded by old gals trying to hit on him. I mean, c'mon, the LIBRARY? The kid attracts trouble wherever he goes. All I gotta say is my poor brother in black."

"...Well, thats...good. Kiddie gettin' me to dust wouldnt do much for my pride anyways..."

I had quit listening after that. Maybe that whole conversation was what started all this. I couldnt make my father completely happy no matter what I did and I was thankful. Grateful.

Yeah, maybe that was when I knew I had to tell him.

His hold almost squeezing now interrupted me again, and I blinked up at him, dazed, as his hands suddenly pressed down on me, searching with articulate precision for something he couldnt see from underneath his coat.

Shoulders. Arms. Belly. Ribs. A touch lingered over my heart and by the time the quick and trembling touches reached towards my neck, settling there, fingering there, rubbing there, I knew what the hell he was doing.

"Quit it, Dad, Im fine." Geez, he was going to give himself a heartattack...Well, if vampires could get those, that is. I wouldnt be surprised if HE could. "You already asked me a million times, so stop mothering me."

God, I had to tell him. Now. I couldnt stand looking into eyes filled with so much care and concern, worry, anxiety, pain even. I could see it all there and I couldnt stand it. If I just told him, this would all go away.

He started to slowly rock me now, probably more for himself, but it was soothing, too damn soothing, and I sucked in a breath, building up the courage to open my mouth. This was my chance. Maybe the only chance I had. Could see.

A cold wind blew over us, striking my face with a whip of ice because that was all it could touch, but I didnt let it stop me. I had to do it now. If I didnt, Id lose it. Curl more into his arms and forget all I wanted to do and, instead, be selfish and beg for him to just hold me and nothing else.

I didnt want that. Maybe he did- I could always see it in his eyes, the need to hold me and keep me closer for a little bit longer- but its not what I wanted. Not right now. Later.

After what I was about to do.

Finally filled with the nerve and bravery and determination that I had waited for all this time, I opened my mouth, knowing it would come out in stutters, but thankful knowing it would atleast come out just the same, and croaked my words.

Three "...D-Dad," ok, maybe four, easy as hell words, "I-I-"

And then I wanted to stake him.

I seriously. Just wanted to. STAKE him.

Because instead of listening to the words I was trying so hard to get out, he was murmuring to himself, OVER ME, and turning away, "Youre freezing. I have to get you out of here," then standing, bringing me with him, hastily and effortlessly.

My eyes widened in my disbelief. "N-No! Wait, Dad, I-"

"-Connor, Im taking you home," he said, suddenly stern, still cradling me like a baby to his chest. "I've brought the car so it wont take long."

And there we went, him hurrying along through the dark and, oddly enough, desolate alleys of downtown L.A. and me protesting the whole way, demanding to be put down and kicking the air when he again DIDNT LISTEN. I was growling to myself all the way to the car, so inwardly angry that I had just lost probably the easiest opportunity at finally telling him that I hardly moved when he placed me gently in the passenger seat and hardly said a word the whole ride back to the Hyperion, even though I could feel his concerned gaze on me every few seconds he turned away from the road.

Now, it would just sound dumb, saying them as I got out of the car. Dumb and meaningless. I wanted this to be perfect.

I was so frustrated as we got nearer to the Hyp's doors that when my father put his built and slightly bulky arm around me-again, I was feeling so small compared to him- I shrugged it off quickly, head ducked low so he couldnt see the shame written all over my face.

I couldnt even look at him.

So how the HELL was I gonna say them?

And I had a time limit now.

The doors were getting closer to us. We were already walking up the stone steps and I could see the others, Spike, Gunn, and Lorne inside, lounging around like they didnt have a care in the world. Illyria was nowhere in sight, but then again, she always spent her nights pacing quietly around in Wesley's old office.

A time limit. A damn time limit. I couldnt go another night without saying them. And I knew for a fact I wouldnt be able to say them with all of my dad's friends around. This was a big deal for me. Something private. I wouldnt say them often after, so I had to make this significant. Totally and utterly meaningful.

I hesitated, thinking more on it, and pulled away from him altogether, realizing my time was up.

We were in front of the door.

We were actually alone so this had to be it.

I clenched my fists, ignoring the flutters and twitches of nervousness coursing through my body as I prepared a second time, this time gulping, gulping UNNATURALLY loud, before moving my lips.

Why was it so hard?

His hand was on the doorknob.

"D-Dad, I..."

He turned to me, eyes looking instantly worried again. Expectant.

"I-"

And then my jaw dropped.

And I altogether lost my nerve.

MY DAD HAD FLUNG THE DOOR OPEN BEHIND HIM.

"You found him!" Angel didnt turn though, eyes still resting on me, as the others quickly jumped to their feet and gathered around in the doorway. "Are you guys ok?"

I ground my teeth together.

No. NOT ok.

I dropped my head, eyes narrowed and glaring at the concrete under me.

DEFINITELY NOT OK.

My father was looking at me like he'd finally just realized he had missed something important. "Connor?"

And thats when I chose to stalk past him, shoes pounding a trail that my fists wanted to, ignoring his question and his friends as I stormed my way to the staircase.

I was so pissed off.

The stairs made my anger even louder and I relished in that.

POUND

POUND

POUND

SO PISSED OFF.

POUND

POUND

POUND

SO

PISSED

OFF!

"Connor!"

"Whatever!" I yelled back.

"Please talk to me! What's bother-"

"Whatever!"

He looked as if he was going to follow, but I ignored that, too, hurriedly walking to my bedroom and slamming the door behind me, locking it.

And when I was eventually safe in the knowledge that I was alone, away, away from HIM and nowhere at all NEAR him, and angry because I knew I SHOULDVE been in the exact opposite, I finally let my disappointed and defeated tears fall.

_**XXXXWEAKXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Turning on some music, I drowned out their voices.

I could hear them all.

I could hear HIM.

_**I See A River**_

_**It's Oceans That I Want**_

I couldnt say them. Those damn three little words.

Everything had been perfect, felt so right, and I still couldnt say them. I blew it. I had completely wasted my two best chances at finally letting him know how I felt. He said them every damn day, even over the phone, and I couldnt even say them ONCE.

_**You Have To Give Me Everything**_

_**But Everything's Not Enough**_

I heard the /BAM/ of a door being slammed. I knew it was his. Even through the blaring music, it was loud, meaning nearby. My father's room was the closest to mine.

_**It's My Desire**_

_**To Give Myself To You**_

He didnt deserve this. Not from me. Not from his SON.

Even his friends could say them. Well, Lorne and Gunn could. They could say they loved him. Ive heard them before. I would sit there shocked as they told him jokingly and I would hate myself for not even ATTEMPTING to join in.

I couldnt even do that much.

_**Sometimes**_

He didnt deserve this at all.

I didnt deserve HIM. He deserved someone better. I hated myself. I wasnt worthy. I left him during the days and sometimes couldnt even stay with him during the nights. It shouldnt be like this. He should have something else.

Something better.

Someone that could ATLEAST say those words to his face.

_**Sometimes I Try**_

_**Sometimes I Lie **_

_**With You**_

My thoughts ran around crazy in my head, echoing and, with the music, enhancing my feelings, and before I knew it, I was falling onto my bed, my trembling hands shoved over my eyes to try and stop the tears that kept coming. My body shook and was wracked with my emotions, so harshly in fact, that I began to sob, at first quietly in hopes of relieving the pain and ache inside, but then louder and louder as it got out of control, as I got more out of control, finally crying outloud and not even caring anymore who heard me.

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

_**Sometimes I Cry**_

_**Sometimes I Die**_

_**It's True**_

I couldnt even do it right. He did everything and KEEPS doing everything for me and I cant give him anything in return.

I never could.

_**Somewhere I'll Find**_

_**Something That's Kind**_

_**In You**_

It was suppose to be better now, but in this aspect of my life, the way I really was, it was all the same. I wouldntve even fathomed saying them before, and now that I actually felt them, I still couldnt do it.

God, I was worthless. I was so damn worthless.

_**And I've Crossed The Line Again**_

_**A Line I Drew In Sand**_

How could he love me the way he did?

_**And Still You Give Me Everything**_

_**But Everything's Not Enough**_

I continued to cry, practically breaking down now, as the music pounded all around me, and because of it, I almost didnt catch the sound of a door being hurled open and my own door hammered on.

"Connor, whats wrong? I can hear you crying! Let me in!"

_**I'm Ready But Not Willing**_

_**To Give Myself To You**_

No.

I wanted him to go away.

I wanted him here.

_**Sometimes**_

I wanted him AWAY.

"Connor! Goddammit! Open the door! I'll break it down if I have to!"

_**Sometimes I Try**_

_**Sometimes I Lie **_

I wanted him.

I wanted him to hold me.

_**With You**_

I was so selfish. Still selfish. Still only thinking of me.

Still so weak.

I turned away, ignoring his voice and the way my door and walls shook, and curled up, blocking it all out with my loud sobs.

_**Sometimes I Cry**_

_**Sometimes I Die**_

_**It's True**_

"God, Connor...IM COMING IN THERE!"

I could still feel him, though. Feel him bang on the door one last time in his anger before launching his body against it.

Feel my door burst open, almost flying clear off its hinges.

Feel him come crashing heavily into my room.

_**Somewhere I'll Find**_

_**Something That's Kind**_

Feel him race towards me.

Feel him grab me and sweep me up into his arms as he collapsed onto my bed, resting against the headboard while he clutched me savagely to his chest.

_**Come On Over**_

_**Lay Down Beside Me**_

I didnt even fight it like I wouldve. Shouldve. I didnt want him to see my tears. But he held me so close, so tightly, as if comforting himself first because I couldnt feel his eyes on me, just looking ahead with a panic-stricken gleam in them, then shifted so that one arm looped around me while his other hand was busy pushing the matted hair from off my forehead. A touch lingered on my cheeks as he tried to unsuccessfully wipe away the wetness and I stared up at him, not even caring anymore that he was witnessing this one weak moment of mine.

The weakest.

Ive never cried in front of him before. Not like this atleast.

But he was holding me again, rocking me again, touching me again, and I loved it. I wanted it.

"Shhh. Shhh. Oh God, Connor, what is it? What is it, baby? Please tell me. I-I dont want to see you like this."

I wanted to see me like this.

I wanted this.

He was holding me.

_**And I'll Try**_

I was still staring up at him as the others came rushing in, already full and brimming with questions, but before they could ask them, my father was hesitantly turning away from me, directing his harsh and oddly enough quiet orders at the shocked group. "Guys, get out of here."

"A-Ange-" Gunn started.

"-Now. Please. Give us a...a few moments. Just...Just please." They nodded when seeing his distressed look and left quickly, all except for Spike who had his eyes trained on me, but I gave him no notice, still gazing up at the man that held me so protectively to him, so the other vampire turned away, shaking his head and muttering.

When we were alone again, my father looked down at me, and I looked up, almost blank now, my senses completely overloaded with the fact I was still in his arms, still being held, still on the receiving end of something I could never put into the right words, and the wet heat spread again, rolling down my face as I thought more on that, more on the simple truth that the man, the vampire who agonized every day and night about prophesies, Shanshu, and not being with his child in the sun, was cradling something colder than he was.

I could easily think that about myself.

My father was so warm.

So warm.

_**Come On Over**_

"Connor," his voice was so quiet it was barely above a whisper and he looked desperate as he spoke to me, "tell me. Tell me, son. Whatever it is, wha-whatever Ive done to hurt you, Im going to fix it, I swear. I-I swear to you, Connor. I'll make it better. Please. Please."

Hurt me? My eyes widened at that and I choked, the tears running to my lip as he bent down and kissed me anxiously on the temple, bringing one of my hands back up to his lips and kissing my fingers also.

God, stop this. Just stop.

How could he think he was hurting me?

I was hurting him!

But he was gazing at me so upset now and still clutching my hand to his lips, that I knew I had to stop this myself. I had to stop it. Id be unconsolable if this went on too much longer. I never wanted to hurt him. I was always doing it, in my eyes, obviously not his. He was never thinking of himself. Always me. Always caring. Always worrying. Always loving. All me.

But I could see it now. The hurt. The pain. The despair. Confusion. Grief. He looked as if he was waiting for disaster to strike him. Hit him right in the face.

Again.

"Not hurting me." If I had not thought those words before speaking them, I wouldnt have recognized the voice that came sliding out into a murmur. It mustve been rubbed raw from crying.

God I hated crying.

But he was holding me. If crying meant that...

It would become a habit I wouldnt be able to break.

Wouldnt want to.

I could definitely see myself doing that.

_**Lay Down Beside Me**_

"Then what is it? What is it, baby? Tell me."

"Cant say them." I couldnt. I couldnt say them.

My father tried to give me a small smile, wiping away the tears again. "Sure you can. Just tell me and I'll make it all better."

No. He didnt know.

He didnt understand.

He had no clue what I was talking about.

And I had no clue how something so cold could feel so good.

"Youre so warm." I slowly cuddled more into his arms, taking back my hand to clutch at his black shirt as he looked down at me again, clearly bewildered.

He wasnt expecting that.

Disaster, heartache, a blow to his mind and the collapse of a somewhat joyous life that he was creating for himself, for US, but not that. He wanted to please me, appease me, comfort, and he was too shocked by how quickly it was given.

"W-What?"

I could do it.

I know I could.

Nothing was choking me up anymore. I had cried out everything holding me back. There wasnt anything left. I could make him happy, as happy as he COULD be, as happy as he allowed himself, atleast. I couldnt stop the worry, but I could say them. I could try atleast.

_**And I'll Try**_

The other three words were easy. They came out sounding right. Sounding perfect. I could do this.

This was another chance. Not the best, not the one I wouldve liked, not at all one that should be repeated because I didnt think I could handle crying in front of him again but I knew for a damn fact I could handle him holding me like this again, but this chance was good nonetheless.

I needed to give them to him.

I couldnt take this anymore. I knew Id be a complete wreck if this didnt happen and I was taken back to the Rileys.

And I knew my pride wouldnt allow me to return the next night.

To see him.

To feel him.

To hear him beat me again in saying those three little, now INSANE, words.

Not that I could stay away from him for too long.

_**I'll Try**_

"Connor-"

"-No, Dad." My strength had returned, voice recognizable, and he wasnt going to interrupt me this time. I gripped his shirt tightly, bringing him closer, now not even smelling the surrounding scents outside his or seeing the light from my broken doorway, just him, his arms, and feeling his chest against my cheek.

This was all that mattered.

He was all that mattered.

And he was going to hear it.

Nothing would stop me this time.

I wouldnt let it.

_**I Want It All**_

"I have to tell you something, Dad..."

_**XXXXWEAKXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

"I dont even want to go there on reading them. What do you think all that was about?" Lorne asked the others as they sat around downstairs, trying to look casual.

"Got me," Gunn shrugged, throwing his arms behind the couch. "But I tell ya, something's definitely up with the kid."

"Well, grand deduction, Mighty Joe," Spike remarked snidely as he poured himself a drink. "Now tell me whats going on through my head while you're on your lil smarty spree there."

" A bullet if you dont shut the hell up."

"Something is...troubling Angel's son," Illyria commented, blue head tilted, as she looked to Lorne to confirm her words.

"Seems like it," the telepath nodded.

"And Angel is...enacting a procedure of...comfort in order to be privileged information?"

Lorne grimaced at the way she put things so bluntly and without feeling but repeated his words, eyes locked onto the upper level of the hotel. "Seems like it." He turned away for a second to refill his glass full of brandy, then planted his gaze right back to where it was. "But whatever's going on with the little nipper, its got to be big. Ive never seen him react that way before."

"Yeah. I dont think Ive ever seen Con cry. That was just plain weird," Gunn nodded away also.

"Could be bad..." Nod.

"Could be demon..." Nod.

"A catastrophe..." Nod.

"Disaster..." Nod.

"Another bloody apocalypse..." Spike added in, looking almost blank.

"Life-altering..." Nod.

"Life-threatening..." NodNod.

Suddenly a yell boomed from upstairs, one that had the group below not in the least-bit shocked, but still all-the-more fearful. "_THAT'S IT? YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEARTATTACK JUST FOR THAT?"_

"Im not moving," Gunn looked down at the coffee table quickly.

"Agreed," Spike said, matching speed.

Lorne and Illyria stayed silent.

_**XXXXWEAKXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

It was, oddly enough, Lorne who, after an hour of contemplating, decided to head upstairs and see if everything had cooled down. He didnt know what to expect, didnt even know what had been wrong, but after feeling the strong emotions had quieted a bit, he silently walked to the room at the very end of the hallway, glass still in his hand.

And became instantly proud he had done so.

Because the sight that welcomed him was heartwarming in itself.

Heartwarming and very-much needed.

He stood in the doorway, taking it all in, savoring the soft mood and vibes from both father and son resting on the bed, and was reminded of the many times he had walked in to find Angel passed out on the couch in his infant's room, the baby cooing and napping on top of his daddy's muscular belly.

Only Connor wasnt exactly a baby anymore and Angel wasnt at all passed out, holding his son gently, but instead laying awake as his son slept on atop of him, clutching the boy fiercely and protectively as if at any minute, Connor could be suddenly ripped away and out of his arms.

But the image was precious nonetheless, and Lorne noticed Connor didnt seem troubled in the slightest anymore, only sleeping with the most blissful of smiles on his tear-stained face.

A low voice suddenly broke through the demon's musings, one so hushed that Lorne didnt even think it was possible the vampire could produce it. "Lorne, mind turning off the music and shutting the curtains?" Angel asked quietly, not wanting to rouse his slumbering son. "Im going to sleep in here for the night."

Lorne merely nodded, moving to carry out the requests. When he was done flicking the drapes together, he turned around, again taking in the beautiful sight of father and son. "Everything all honky-dory now, Angelcakes?"

It took a moment for Angel to actually look away from his child, but when he finally did, still caressing Connor's back however, he answered with a smile and a small laugh. "Yeah. Kid had me so worried. I was prepared for something horrible, you know?" He gazed back down at his son, lovingly. "So worried..." He murmured softly.

"Not anymore though, huh? So I take it, everything's ok now?"

"I think so..."

Lorne nodded. "Well, I'll tell you about that worrying- it'll cause you wrinkles. Dont spend your time imagining the worst. You should spend it enjoying every minute you're given with him. He's not just a miracle, he's a GIFT." His little insightful speech was rewarded with a full-blown smile from the vamp.

"Thank you, Lorne."

Connor chose that moment to stir, shifting about and muttering in his sleep, Angel's hold still strong all around him, and Lorne bid a hasty exit when given the hinted look from the Champion. When he was gone, Angel maneuvered his body more comfortably for Connor to rest on, dropped his head to plant another soft kiss to the boy's dark hair, then looped his arms back around his son, holding him again in place, but not before whispering to his Miracle peacefully dozing on him. "I love you, Connor."

And he was more than content with a sleepy but happy sigh as his reply.

_**XXXXWEAKXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

**(A/N):**_** Last parts were weird, I know, and obviously 3rd person, but I felt they needed to be added. R&R if u wanna. Precious Destruction will most likely be updated next. SORRY IM TAKING SO LONG! **_

**Cost of a vampire's wardrobe: **_**$300**_

**Cost of a Miracle's shoes: **_**$90**_

**Cost of a new bedroom door: **_**$500**_

**Cost of whiskey for William: **_**$55**_

**Saying "I Love You" to your dad: **_**PRICELESS **_**and**_** TOO DAMN LONG**_


End file.
